Broken Hearts

I felt you pulling away. I felt you pushing me away. Time for me cannot be. How to accept this. I remember there are seasons but still........my heart bears another scar left deep from a piece broken. Heal it will. But when alone I will feel a tug from the time I lost you as my friend.  I held onto hope but time has shown I have to let you go as it is clear you are already gone.  The light was dim, now the flame is out. Time to move on. To find  a light shining bright into my life. A smile meant just for me.

Gratefulness

It is that time of year again where I see people everywhere showing thankfulness and gratefulness in their blogs and posts, on Facebook and Twitter, although I don't twitter yet. 
One technical thing at a time for this ole gal!

I am very happy to say that I practice thankfulness and gratefulness every single day. It is a principle taught to me by Scripture and by friends and my step daughters and son who are so wise!  I am surrounded by such special people who keep me standing in gratefulness when I tend to go off the deep end into bitterness and anger when my triggers are triggered.  They reel me in when they are there and help me get back into the place that is naturally peaceful.

I don't like leaving this place of peacefulness but daily life has a way of taking me into the world of chaos.       So I am actually grateful for "gratefulness"!!

Hoping you find peace today! Find one thing to be grateful for!  Today I am grateful for very old gorgeous trees!

At a Crossroads

One of the last pictures of just me and my son before he went off to college and met his wife to be.

So much has changed since then.  Most for the better.  I was a very lucky mom, blessed with a boy who loved me and respected me.  Who made me laugh with such ease.  Who made me cry with such ease.

There is no love like a mother of her child except for the love of God for his children.  There is no other.

My boy is not my boy anymore.  He is a man with another.  He is a man on a journey making a life of his own.  How lonely it is without him.  I never knew it would hurt so much to lose him to the world beyond our home. 

I miss you son.  I'm told you will be back.  I'm told you will always have a special place for me in your heart.  I'm told you will be back but not to stay.  But to engage in a new relationship with me. 
I know that I know you better than any other could.  But that is not what you say and there are times when you speak and I wonder.  Who is it saying those words?  I didn't know you felt that way. 

Don't venture too far from the way you were raised.  Remember who you are.  You said to me once.  Don't worry, you raised me, remember?  I said yes I remember.  But I worry.

Have faith and know that you are God's, not mine.  This keeps me peaceful.  You are grown but you are still young.  Foolishness is still the tempter.  So I will pray.  Every day.  I will pray goodness and mercy, grace and wisdom be with you all your days.

If you will not come to me, go to God with all your questions and cares.  Go to God when you come to a crossroads.  Go to God when you get angry and frustrated.  Go to God in thanks when you are blessed.

My heart will break again and again but I heal for the Lord is with me.  I will heal for time goes on.  I will grow for change is what life is and accepting and adapting to that change is life in action.  I am at a crossroads too.  I will pick the path God chooses for me and follow, walking in faith.

It is a moment in time that changed my life forever.  And God said.  It is good.