A Season of my Soul

The weather is unseasonably cool and refreshing for mid July in Georgia. My mind feels clear and focused. I can breathe with ease, turn my head without feeling dizzy.  I wonder what caused this sudden blessing of clarity and freedom from the bondage of constant inner turmoil and pain.  I think the weather is different.  I am different today. Can this be the end of a time of struggle?

With hope in my heart I listen to the night sounds of Katydids, crickets and tree frogs singing their nightly songs on a cool breeze through the open window and feel contentment cover me like a soft blanket and I thank God.

Overcome with gratitude I get on my knees and pray a prayer of thanks and praise to the one who showed me what it was to need him and I promised I will always need him.

On this day that felt so different I was given a gift. God speaks to me through books that I stumble upon at a garage sale or thrift store.  He speaks to me through His word and through others I happen to bump into.

Today He spoke to me through a poem in a book I found at the thrift store.

Helen Steiner Rice is one of Gods greatest poets. I've been collecting her books. Last night I got an email advertising a sale going on at a website for used books that I like. I popped over and found one of her books, "Blessings".  I ended up not buying it and while searching the book section at the thrift store I found it.  I always know it's God when something like that happens.  So I had to get it to find out what God wanted to tell me.

The very first poem I turned to was "The Seasons of the Soul".  It is about the soul having seasons just like the year.  I read it over and over focusing the most on the last two lines.

We too must pass through the seasons God sends.
Content in the knowledge that everything ends.

I suffer from panic disorder and recently when I had a panic attack that was one of the worst I had in years my son was with me.  He said the words that I needed to hear at that moment.  It will end.

He also said something that touched my heart and I felt the presence of God in him.  I was crying that I must be so weak to not be able to beat this thing that tortures me. He said he thought I was one of the strongest people he knows.

He said, to live with what I live with and still live life, work, take care of my elderly mother and aunt, take care of him all his life as a single mother with panic disorder;  to bare all the stress of daily life while battling panic daily and not fall completely to pieces makes me the strongest person he knows.

He knows I run to God every day but He also knows in the heat of the moment of a severe panic attack I can't think to even remember to call out God's name until I come down a little.  So he knows what it takes to live in my skin and in my head.  I looked at him with awe and relief and gratitude that someone understood. God gave him that understanding and those words to say to me at that moment.

God gave me a confirmation during devotion time with him.  

A poem.  

It will end.  

It is a season.  

A very long season but still a season.  20 years long.  But maybe it it finally coming to an end. Or maybe the season of sadness that dealing with panic disorder brings is going to end.  I may still have the panic but it may be that I will have less panic and sadness and have more joy and happiness.  I don't know for sure yet since I have felt like this for only one day.  Actually 2 days with a short bout of panic this morning.  The rest of the time I felt a lightness.  A clarity.  A balance.

I feel blessed and loved.  Content.

Ultimately I turn my thoughts to what my God did for me, how he suffered and died on the cross for me, how he rose again and sent the Holy Spirit to comfort me and help me.
How he said he will never forsake me.

And I feel blessed and loved.  Content.

When Calls the Heart. Sharing good TV!

Picture from When Calls the Heart Facebook Page

I am here to express my joy after watching a TV series that is on Hallmark channel called "When Calls the Heart" .  My faith in humanity has been restored!

The show is based on a Canadian West book series by Jannette Oke and produced by Michael Landon, Jr.,   - Son of late television producer Michael Landon who produced Little House on the Prairie all those years ago.  Isn't that interesting?

It is a story about a young girl venturing out of the comforts of the city and her wealthy upbringing to find her way in the wild, untamed mountains of a far away land in the early frontier days. She goes to a mining town called Coaltown where the majority of the people are miners and miner's families.  They are fairly poor but Salt of the Earth.  They needed a schoolteacher but have no school.  What the main character, Elizabeth, notices is the strong sense of community where everyone helps each other, supports each other in times of need and hardship. It is not every man for himself.  It is every person dropping whatever they are doing to help their neighbor.

After watching 3 episodes I sighed a sigh of relief and could feel a calmness and I will say;
It was a breath of fresh air!

It was so nice to see a people who are generally good, believe in being of service to others, go to church with the entire family, love their neighbor.
The people of this town show immense courage and faith in times of adversity.  There is no emphasis on wickedness.
It is about struggle and tragedy and perseverance and hope for a better future.
It is about hard work and about sacrifice.

I saw a theme which is mentioned in one of the episodes.  It is a very strong emphasis on the realization that Most Good Things Come with a Price.

I relate to the women on this show.  The characters are pioneers. Some are single mothers who do anything to keep a roof over their children's heads.  But they do it with grace.  I admire them greatly.

Picture from When Calls the Heart Facebook Page

I may not have been born of that time and have much more comforts than they had but I had to endure much struggle, tragedy and personal hardship.  I worked tirelessly trying to keep our home and my child safe.  I wish I could say I did it with much grace.  But that would be a lie.  I felt sorry for myself.  I cried a lot but I persevered.  I worked 3 jobs.  I sacrificed.  I sometimes didn't eat so my boy could.  That is what we do.  It makes us strong and it draws us closer to God.  Without Him I could not have done all that I did.

I am so happy and overflowing with joy to see a television series that lifts up people like me without having to put into the show things that they think will raise ratings like sex, foul language, everything goes.  I know it seems that is what is happening to the majority of our world.  So I just wanted to give kudos to Hallmark for their integrity.                                          

 I give this show an A+++

PS  I am not affiliated with any of the links I have posted.  I wanted to give you a small tour of the show and where you can get the author's books

Dessert...... Shot Glass Size - What an Idea!

Image from Yoplait Website.

I just had to share this absolutely divine dessert in a shot glass idea and recipe, I just saw on Yoplait's Website and the link is broken since this post is from a while back.

It is so hard for many of us trying to keep our figure as we age or if we have a slow metabolism.  

You know. If you're thin and you already have a healthy lifestyle someone inevitably says.... Why are you passing up dessert?   

I say..... That's how I keep my figure!  I know when to say no.

(Yes.  sometimes I drool at the chocolate cheesecake everyone else is diving into).  But I stand firm.

If you struggle with your weight you still haven't found what works for you....what foods, how much of a particular food and when you say no and when you say yes, you can still learn how.  Pay attention every day to what changes your weight either way, up or down.  And adjust accordingly.  

I know it isn't as easy as it sounds but when you do figure it out it's like a light bulb goes off and you just adapt to a healthier lifestyle. Before you know it you have more energy and you want to get out and walk and be active.  

It becomes a lifestyle!

  

The key to maintain a healthy lifestyle involves eating what you want but in proportion to how much you exercise, how many calories you burn.  As long as you are active you can eat more. 

You do not have to starve yourself.  You can have dessert.  And small portions is one way to do that.

These shot size desserts are GENIUS!!  Thank you Yoplait! 

Yummy! 

Not to mention yogurt (any kind of yogurt) is a great way to keep your digestive bacteria healthy which in turn keeps your whole body healthy.  

I stand by this and believe it from experience.  Yoplait has in no way asked me to say these things.