Just like the Big E word "Exercise" I need structure to be consistent. On my own I will go in with guns blazing and all the best intentions of being totally COMMITED and a few weeks later I find excuses to put it off and put it off again!! OOhhh. There's the ugly C word.
This is all so sad when I think about it. I am the one that everyone can count on when they need Anything! I am the stable one, the sensible one, the dependable one. I once took a seminar at church to find out about "my personality type". I arrived early for class and the facilitator said "I knew you would be one of the first ones here" and gave me a big smile.
I had no idea why he said that. We didn't know each other yet. That night we all got the results from our "test". I was apparently an "over-achiever" and he gave me an all knowing nod and that smile again. It turns out he was the only other "over-achiever" in the group. We had a secret bond all of a sudden.
I am not tooting my own horn, believe me. I don't consider myself any of those things. More of a control freak would be how I would put it!
As a mom you have to try to always be those things because usually somebody has to. If you get my meaning. There is usually someone that is the glue that has to hold things together unless you are very lucky and have a wonderfully supportive partner who shares the burden of making a union and a family work. I wasn't lucky that way and it was always me who had to make sure it all got done. Another story, another time.
Anyway. I have so much trouble these days committing to anything. I don't make promises I can't keep anymore and I don't sign up for anything. I tend to be late for appointments if I don't forget about them altogether. I know it's because I have been overwhelmed with what has been going on at my house for the past year and a half. Fighting furiously to get order back in my life I feel I am on track.
I am finally in a place where things have calmed down and I can breathe and do some things for myself. While reading my daily emails I ran across a post from a blog called InCourage that was a reminder of their book club, InBloom's Book Club. It was already in progress but we could still join up. If you sign up make sure and go here for instructions.
The book is A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman who as it turns out is the very talented blogger behind Chatting with the Sky, a blog I have enjoyed reading for some time now.
I watched the video "Meeting the Author" where the girls from Incourage describe the book and I was sure this was where I wanted to begin my journey back to normal life and feeling better about myself and my future. Here is the trailer for the book.
Just a brief mention that it is about "uncovering the art you were made to live" and how we don't think we have anything to offer but hope that we are wrong about that.
It is just what I need and can't wait until I get the book and get involved!
Hope to see you there!
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