At a Crossroads

One of the last pictures of just me and my son before he went off to college and met his wife to be.

So much has changed since then.  Most for the better.  I was a very lucky mom, blessed with a boy who loved me and respected me.  Who made me laugh with such ease.  Who made me cry with such ease.

There is no love like a mother of her child except for the love of God for his children.  There is no other.

My boy is not my boy anymore.  He is a man with another.  He is a man on a journey making a life of his own.  How lonely it is without him.  I never knew it would hurt so much to lose him to the world beyond our home. 

I miss you son.  I'm told you will be back.  I'm told you will always have a special place for me in your heart.  I'm told you will be back but not to stay.  But to engage in a new relationship with me. 
I know that I know you better than any other could.  But that is not what you say and there are times when you speak and I wonder.  Who is it saying those words?  I didn't know you felt that way. 

Don't venture too far from the way you were raised.  Remember who you are.  You said to me once.  Don't worry, you raised me, remember?  I said yes I remember.  But I worry.

Have faith and know that you are God's, not mine.  This keeps me peaceful.  You are grown but you are still young.  Foolishness is still the tempter.  So I will pray.  Every day.  I will pray goodness and mercy, grace and wisdom be with you all your days.

If you will not come to me, go to God with all your questions and cares.  Go to God when you come to a crossroads.  Go to God when you get angry and frustrated.  Go to God in thanks when you are blessed.

My heart will break again and again but I heal for the Lord is with me.  I will heal for time goes on.  I will grow for change is what life is and accepting and adapting to that change is life in action.  I am at a crossroads too.  I will pick the path God chooses for me and follow, walking in faith.

It is a moment in time that changed my life forever.  And God said.  It is good.